There'll be vets bills, no doubt...
Brrr. It's cold!
Right, that's my small concession to reality out of the way. On to other matters.
It seems I may have been wrong about that dark cloud on the horizon. Black and fluffy though she may have been, up close Miranda turned out to be, in fact (or whatever passes for fact in here), a cat. Yes, a cat. Not some pretty young thing who might catch Albert's i, or Lucy's for that matter, but a cat. Well, I for one am not happy about it. Not only do I still have to put up with Albert and Lucy mooning over eachother - Oh! Albert! Oh! Lucy! (Bah! I say) - but now, after 27 years of successfully avoiding anything resembling responsbilities, I find myself saddled with a cat.
She's a pet for Albert and Lucy really, but they're always off gallivanting, so I have to drop in and kasjhdiaiacbsjhbvbj ioasdlk askj akuh sfjkdjkadasdlasklhzxnmvbncvbn sssssssssssdddddddddf Shoo! Get off! Down! I won't tell you again!
Humph. The sooner that animal gets trained, the better. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. Albert and Lucy are always off gallivanting. They're probably ensconced in some Tokyo love-hotel or something as we speak (and why not, I suppose). So I have to make sure Miranda's fed, change her water, check she hasn't got herself stuck on top of the sidebar again, that sort of thing. And there I was wondering if this sprouting seeds malarkey wasn't a commitment too far! Very healthy, I gather. Oops, another bit of reality seems to have crept in there. Well, that's two for you. Count yourselves lucky. Not about the sprouting seeds thing. Just in general. Not everyone has a computer, do they? Sorry, I'm digressing. Mind you, this whole blog's one giant ever-expanding digression really, so I don't know what I'm apologising for.... Give me that apology back! Seriously. I need it. I make an awful lot of mistakes.
Hmm? Oh. This post? It's a potplant (not that kind, more's the pity). Probably one of those big Yucca things. I haven't got the headspace for another character today. I'm supposed to be doing something productive for a couple of days. No, really.
Right, that's my small concession to reality out of the way. On to other matters.
It seems I may have been wrong about that dark cloud on the horizon. Black and fluffy though she may have been, up close Miranda turned out to be, in fact (or whatever passes for fact in here), a cat. Yes, a cat. Not some pretty young thing who might catch Albert's i, or Lucy's for that matter, but a cat. Well, I for one am not happy about it. Not only do I still have to put up with Albert and Lucy mooning over eachother - Oh! Albert! Oh! Lucy! (Bah! I say) - but now, after 27 years of successfully avoiding anything resembling responsbilities, I find myself saddled with a cat.
She's a pet for Albert and Lucy really, but they're always off gallivanting, so I have to drop in and kasjhdiaiacbsjhbvbj ioasdlk askj akuh sfjkdjkadasdlasklhzxnmvbncvbn sssssssssssdddddddddf Shoo! Get off! Down! I won't tell you again!
Humph. The sooner that animal gets trained, the better. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. Albert and Lucy are always off gallivanting. They're probably ensconced in some Tokyo love-hotel or something as we speak (and why not, I suppose). So I have to make sure Miranda's fed, change her water, check she hasn't got herself stuck on top of the sidebar again, that sort of thing. And there I was wondering if this sprouting seeds malarkey wasn't a commitment too far! Very healthy, I gather. Oops, another bit of reality seems to have crept in there. Well, that's two for you. Count yourselves lucky. Not about the sprouting seeds thing. Just in general. Not everyone has a computer, do they? Sorry, I'm digressing. Mind you, this whole blog's one giant ever-expanding digression really, so I don't know what I'm apologising for.... Give me that apology back! Seriously. I need it. I make an awful lot of mistakes.
Hmm? Oh. This post? It's a potplant (not that kind, more's the pity). Probably one of those big Yucca things. I haven't got the headspace for another character today. I'm supposed to be doing something productive for a couple of days. No, really.
posted by Occasional Poster of Comments at 12:23 am
40 Comments:
Oh, you're back then?
Have you started training that cat yet?
Mrrroooowww!
MirandadnariMirandadnariMirandadnariM
Oo! Look, Albert. She's chasing her tail again.
Such energetic pointlessness. It's like a metaphor for life. Almost Sisyphean, really.
Oh, don't start that stuff again. It's all metaphor-for-life this, metaphor-for-life that with you, isn't it?
You're such a killjoy.
Anyway, we have been training her. We taught her some tricks whilst you were off with your alfalfa and your mung bean sprouts
Watch.
Play dead, Miranda.
.
See?
Good girl. Now stay, Miranda.
.
That looks awfully like the first trick. What else have you two taught her?
She can shake hands with you.
That's one you can do, Mr Grumpy. There's even a button on your keyboard for it.
Don't be silly. Where?
It's two keys to the right of F12. Do you see it?
You mean 'pause', don't you?
Yep.
We had you going there, didn't we?
[Albert and Lucy both chuckling gleefully]
Oh, good grief!
[mumbles something about the 'delete' key]
Let's go see what's happening in Superlon. Oo, Albert let's take Miranda to meet Taiga.
Sorry, Taiga. I should think you're probably beginning to regret that invitation.
'It's all metaphor-for-life this, metaphor-for-life that with you, isn't it?'
Actually, Life is a metaphor, for cricket. (I know, because I read it somewhere.)
Ah, yes. And an elaborate one at that.
Hey, wait a second!
See! I told you. You didn't believe me, did you? He's snuck cricket in here again. Cricket, cricket, cricket!
Bah!
Oh, just shut up and bowl, will you?
Thanks for the gear, Dave. He's just miffed 'cause he can't get me out.
Howzat?
Out!!
Hey! I didn't say that!
[look of dawning realisation]
My God, I've been possessed!!! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! How many more horrors are there in this life?
Ooh, I don't know... Loads. That's what life is, really. A procession of horrors.
Ah, cheer up. You'll get used to it.
He really is a joy to have around, isn't he?
Jeez...
I know.
How do you get out of bed in the mornings?
Slowly and reluctantly.
[gives it further consideration]
Usually with a sense of impending boredom.
That was a rhetorical question.
Anyway, don't you mean 'doom'?
[sighs wistfully] Ahhhh, if only.
What?! It'd be more exciting.
Hello there, I noticed you three were visiting me last night. Just be careful. The husky's still in heat, you know.
Are you sure Miranda hasn't torn James's binbags? She seems to have pretty sharp claws
* trying to stitch up the sofa *
Oh, Lucy and Albert, I noticed you are gallivanting a lot. I also love to wander aimlessly in search of pleasure when I am not feeling impuissant.
WV: dddad = dad is that really you after all these years?
I don't mind watering the yucca occasionally, if you want to go and gallivant a bit too, OPoC. But I'm not feeding Miranda. Sorry.
Watering? Ah. I didn't consider that. Maybe it should have been a cactus. Oh well, too late now.
Ooh! Impuissant? [consults google]I like that word! Thanks, Taiga. Must find a way to work that into a conversation
Preferably with someone who won't call me pretentious.
Well, you are.
Yeah. You'll probably use you best French accent as well [shudders].
[mutters something about 'impudent upstarts']
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