29 November 2007

Some people prefer cornflakes

I feel the need to blog. However, I am also feeling uninspired. In fact, I was almost tempted to blog about something real. There we were, within a mere few feet of eachother, reality and I, when I recalled that actually the bastard still hasn't apologised for that whole dull business that is my life. Needless to say I turned my head and, in what I hoped was a nonchalant, yet pointed fashion, passed him by on the other side of the street. I think it was at that point that I fell over. I'm not too sure really. I just recall pain, darkness, and somewhere, echoing around the hazy fringes of my perception, a peal of that old familiar mocking laughter.

I woke up many hours later to the sound of an alarm clock. Then another. And another. Some sadist had set them to go off one after the other. Who would do such a thing, I wondered, incredulously, as I drifted off again. The noise didn't stop. It was joined by a fourth and a fifth. And a sixth, trilling away. No, why are you doing this, I've done nothing wrong, I tried to think to myself above all the noise. This isn't fair! Well, I won't be beaten. You just watch me sleep.

Hmm? What? Three more alarms. And another three. That was it. Sleep was no longer an option. Right, who's doing this? Show yourselves! I cried, leaping out of bed. Come on! But wait. Those horrible green walls. That recalcitrant guitar. That dust covered philosophy book. Apparently, I was in my bedroom. But surely that couldn't be so, I reasoned, there was the tripping up, the blackout, the mocking laughter of reality - shouldn't I be in hospital? Or at least still flat out on the street, minus all my valuables (money, phone, dignity). What had happened? Steadily, the mists of sleep were clearing, or as much as they ever do. Oh, dear God! It couldn't be true. There hadn't been a blackout. I'd just lived through two consecutive days so depressingly similar as to be indistinguishable. NOOOOoooooooo!!!!! I bellowed. Not again! Pleeeeaaasssse?! For it was morning. Time for work.

Well, I suppose everyone has their morning rituals.

70 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What happened between us, OPC? What did I do?

23:23  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Oh, good grief. You pursue me even here?

23:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why are you being like this? It saddens me.

23:25  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

I saddens you?! What the hell are you talking about?

23:26  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on, OPC. You can't be telling me you don't remember?

23:28  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Remember what?

23:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, that's cold, man. Real cold.

23:30  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

What is? What the hell do you want with me? Please, let's just get this over with, whatever it is.

23:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nah, you're messing with me. Aren't you? Yeah, that's what it is. You're a funny guy. A funny guy...

Well, hey, I like a joke. But, come on, let's be serious now. This is you and me now, buddy.

23:36  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Buddy?!

23:37  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. You really don't remember, do you? Nothing? I used to be a friend of yours.

23:39  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

I think you'll find that was P.M. Dawn.

23:43  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Big black guy? Tiny glasses?

23:44  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Actually, they were a duo.

23:50  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really?

23:51  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

You're just thinking of the singer, Prince Be.

23:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I did not know that.

23:53  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Common misconception.

23:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to those guys? Such tiny, tiny glasses...

23:54  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

So tiny...

Anyway, what did you want?

23:56  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Du-nah-nah-nah, du-nah-nah-nah. Set adrift on memory bliss of you...


Hmm? Oh, right. Sorry. No idea.

[Chuckles] They really were tiny glasses, weren't they? Teeny , tiny glasses...

00:08  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

[Sighs] Yes. They were.

00:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hoo! Tiny, glasses. Ickle, tiny weeny glasses. Weren't they just... so tiny?

00:13  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Are you done yet?

00:15  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nearly, nearly... oh, dear me [starts making pretend tiny glasses with finger and thumbs and peering around the room, grinning].

Wow. How'd he see stuff through those things?

00:19  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

[Sighs loudly] I. Don't. Know.

00:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[Somewhat testily] Ok, ok, ok. I'm done.

00:29  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Now can you see why I avoid you? You're so...

bloody irritating!

00:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song that'll get on your nerves. Get, get, get on your nerves.

I know a...

00:34  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Oh, dear God!!!

[Begins to rock gently back and forth in foetal postion]

00:37  
Blogger Taiga the Fox said...

So some people prefer cornflakes, you serial?

13:08  
Blogger Taiga the Fox said...

And what are you eating, Fox? All-Brain Flakes?

13:09  
Blogger Taiga the Fox said...

No, but you must still be digesting that indistinguishableness.

13:11  
Blogger Taiga the Fox said...

I'm not! See: insistinguishabilitiness.

13:13  
Blogger Taiga the Fox said...

Well, you can insist what you want, but at least I'm not living in the flying hubcap.

Ouch! Don't throw me with that... what's that?

13:20  
Blogger Taiga the Fox said...

Oh, I've actually never seen these before. It's a dropped "You rock" compliment-stone.
That must be what knocked him down.

13:22  
Blogger Melissa said...

I HATE YOU REALITY.

You that attempts to prevent my existence.

*sings* Go away and don't come back another day!

Oh wait, that's rain.

Same principle.

01:28  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Now, now. Enough of this fighting and bickering Nõidus and Taiga. We should all be uniting against the common foe.

01:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who are you calling common?

01:33  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Well, if the Burberry cap fits...

01:34  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oi! 'Nuvver crack like that and you'll feel the kiss of my sovereign ring, you fackin' muppet.

01:51  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

From Argos is it?

Anyway, when did you become an East End thug? You were some kind of pseudo-mafioso earlier.

01:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm multifaceted, innit?

01:55  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

In what?

02:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eh?

02:01  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

What are you in?

02:02  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You wot? I ain't in nuffink.

02:03  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Then you're naked?

02:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, I am, 's-a-matterofact. What of it? You never 'eard of stark reality?

02:08  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

I've heard of ugly reality...

02:09  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And what's that meant to mean?

02:10  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Oh, nothing. It's just something people say.

02:16  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People? Which people? There's people wants teaching some respect, I needs to know 'bout it.

02:21  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Erm...

02:22  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cah'mon, spill it, you muppet. Who's these slags wot needs sorting?

02:26  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

I'm sorry, your grammar is...

02:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Gawd, not again... People's always telling me 'bout her. Yer Nan done this, yer Nan done that, son. I've been nuffin' but good to that woman. I dunno why she keeps bad-mouffing me like that. Well, I fink she's going... you know wot I mean, [taps head] up 'ere. Tragic it is. She's incompre'ensible too, some fella told me the other day. It must be so 'umiliatin' when you can't control yer bodly functions no more. Poor ol' gal.

02:47  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

What do you... oh yes, so it must. It's terrible when they go like that, isn't it? Do you think maybe you should go find her? She might be wandering the streets, all confused, or something.

02:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, fack me! She might be, an' all.

[Rushes off]

02:56  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Thank God for that! I thought I was going to have to pelt him with those ludicrous compliment stones someone left lying around in here.

03:05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been looking for those.

03:05  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

[Sighs] I should have known.

03:06  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What?! Albert gave them to me.

03:08  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Yeah, yeah. I believe you.

03:12  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He did!

03:13  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

If you say so.

03:14  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He did!!

03:15  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Yeah, yeah.




Ooowww! "You are always right"?

03:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poetic. Justice.

[Waltzes off in triumph]

03:23  
Blogger Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Hmph!



[Sighs] I suppose it'd be wrong to throw it back at her...

03:27  

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