Umberclout Digsby

It would appear that I've spent most of the last few days asleep. Or at least I'm assuming that's why it's no longer the other day. Anyway, I had been planning to write a new blog post or two during that time, but alas that doesn't seem to have happened. Instead, I'll have to introduce to you an unfortunate chap called Umberclout Digsby. You will no doubt see more of him here over the coming weeks and months. In other words, there's more of this nonsense already written and it needs a home. Or, at least, somewhere where it can be with its own kind. So, without further ado:

Umberclout Digsby is a small man, with very long legs. Despite or perhaps because of the height these afford him, his smallness tends to get overlooked. Someone that tall can't possibly be small. But Umberclout knows how small he is - from his lofty position it is quite clear to see. In fact, he can see a lot from up there. Things that others, perhaps, cannot. For one thing, he can see how small he is.

You might argue that Umberclout has been fooled by perspective, everything looks small from such a height; but Umberclout disagrees, and he's bigger than you, so let that be an end to it.

There is one thing, though, that Umberclout hasn't been able to see. Nonetheless, it scares him terribly. Often, people turn toward him then flee in panic, sometimes crowds of them. But when he looks behind him, there is nothing there. Whatever makes them run must be huge and very dangerous he assumes, and he is only small, so Umberclout runs too. The people look behind, scream and run faster, so Umberclout screams and runs faster. Soon there is a huge crowd all screaming and running faster and faster. Umberclout, unable to see the monster, follows suit. Eventually the fear is just unbearable. Umberclout's great, long, panic-powered legs carry him far beyond them all. The noisy, hysterical crowd just a distant murmur, he looks behind. They're all dispersing calmly, danger over. Umberclout breathes a sigh of relief.

To this day, though, he lives in fear. Umberclout Digsby is not an unsociable person, but that is not why he constantly seeks company. One day the monster may find him alone, no crowds to lead him to safety. A monster like that? A man of his diminutive size? He'd be done for.